Woke up this morning with a real awareness of the Divine Presence.

Admittedly, it’s my birthday and we are in the Algarve with its strong ocean light and blue skies…

But, really, if you open yourself up to experience – actually seek it – then the outcome is more likely to happen. This is not wish fulfilment but a genuine working towards something desired.

My Diary has been part of this process.

I am reminded of when I started out in my twenties in the hopeful belief that if sufficient numbers of the human race actually comprehended the beauty of being there would be an end to intolerance, and therefore an end to all the unpleasant things we as a species are able to inflict upon one another.

I didn’t – and still don’t – believe politics alone can do this.

The outcome for me back then was mystical enlightenment – and how much I would wish for this to be the experience of everyone. Were it ever to occur the whole human race and life on planet earth would be saved and elevated to a consciousness that seems hardly believable or attainable right now.

The truth is that it may yet happen.


electron colour
Love, Life & Peace


There is probably nothing more profound right now than being in the Santa Maria mountains along with each petal of blossom, each bud on every fruit tree, the golden opening oak leaves (the tree after which our village is named), the blazing dawns and cooling maroon sunsets – the logs on the woodstove, the local wine, the seeds planted in recently tilled ground, waiting, vibrating and preparing to erupt into the welcoming light.

We are here. We are still.

And that is probably reason enough to cease this Diary for a short while. A look back over its entries will reveal the highest attainment any individual human being might attain while here on earth.


The light shines radiantly from the darkest wintry depths

Feb 21 – And counting down

pinksWhen you’re mellow you don’t bother writing – at least not the kind of stuff I like to read and write.abomb
More importantly, nobody wants to read the sort of stuff I write,
So that’s that.269px-Jain_Temple_of_Ranakpur_14
A good thing.
Everything is mellow.
Everyone is mellow.usa bombing syria
I’ve been dreaming in tens.
My tenth novel will be published in less than ten weeks.
Mellowness is the order of the day. Phew!
I never thought this day would happen.
stacia bigWhat a waste of time it’s all been.
In the best sense.
The tenth of tenth sense.hokey cokey
The nonsense.
The never could work it what’s all been about complete waste of time on earth sense.



Feb 20

Flying back today, from the south-west, and should be home for dinner. Now that’s a nice thought. It’ll be warmer down south and there’s plenty to do in the garden, not least to light a big bonfire. After a few days we intend going down to the coast for a while before heading back up to oversee and help out on the barn conversion.



Feb 19

A week ago I arrived in the Midlands feeling a little apprehensive and concerned about the prospect of having an MRI scan on my abdomen. Owing to the fact that I couldn’t book a return flight for the following weekend, I have stayed around my old hometown and am leaving later today. In a way, the extended time here has been a blessing. I have re-connected with the area and some of the people who are important to me. As a result, I now feel more grounded. It seems to me that all I really want for the rest of my life is to be in close contact with my family, have access to nature and learn foreign languages. Oh, and have perfect health. Not too much to ask, surely?


South Bucks

Feb 18

The following diary entry is an important disclosure, and follows on from the previous few days’ posts.

In order to obtain success on the mystical path the postulant requires the help and guidance of those who have experience and are qualified in such matters. This is true of any field of enquiry. As previously stated within these posts, I am not that person since teaching others concerning spiritual matters is definitely not a remit of mine. However, I will recommend a body which has real pedigree and aided me in my own achievements.

The Ancient and Mystical Order Rosae Crucis

I wouldn’t have recommended them even two or three years ago, nor ten, twenty or thirty years earlier.

They seemed to slump soon after I experienced mystical enlightenment and, although I didn’t know it at the time, were nearly taken over by a ‘new kid on the block’ – a definite chancer and wide-boy who charmed his way into the inner circle of officers before trying to have all the organisation’s fiscal assets made over to himself personally. Maybe this inability to see into the hearts of others was a symptom of the inability of those in charge at the time to successfully run that which they had inherited. At any rate, I only found out about all these shenanigans several years later when the internet made such information more widely available.

The organisation – as I say – seemed to lose its vitality at around this time (the late 1980s onwards) and I found myself unable to connect with it in the esoteric sense. It appeared to have become somewhat redundant despite its continuing brash promises.

I put this down to the fact that, historically-speaking, the organisation was due to enter an era of hibernation since its founding in 1915. The traditional Rosicrucian organisations, of which AMORC is a descendant, were originally intended to follow a 108-year cycle of activity and inactivity, which meant the closure of its most recent manifestation in the year 2023. Given its vast contemporary structural presence and large human resources, I wondered how likely this was to happen. Maybe the cosmic was providing an unexpected guiding hand. The purpose of these cycles was to protect the teachings and its leading exponents from being taken over by destructive elements within the conventional society in which the organisation was manifested, particularly during times of bigoted dominant ideologies. As an example, the centre of operations of the continental European branch of the organisation was relocated to the USA to protect its foundations at the time of the outbreak of the Great War (1914-18). Wars are a likely cause of the destruction of established esoteric schools, as Ouspensky pointed out.

Well, cosmic decree seemed to be causing the English-speaking branch to be losing its way. Another, more recent court case concerning an individual who claimed to have been brainwashed in the UK evidently sapped a lot of time and energy away from the Greenwood Gate centre of operations. I did reactivate my membership with them for a short while, gained a particular cosmic insight through the expected channels, but then felt the general vibe from the place – its egregore – had become rather moribund.

Then, on the lookout for somebody else, I came upon the Rosicrucian Order once more, and really felt that it had rejuvenated itself from the core of its English-speaking operations. There was a buzz about it. I checked the website, saw that it had really got its act together IT-wise, and so felt confident about recommending it to this person. They have found the organisation helpful and well-coordinated. For my part, I can tell it is operating on an extremely positive level – mystically-speaking – and that is why I have no hesitation in recommending it to postulants more generally. I don’t know exactly what kick-started its resurgence – the personnel were clearly motivated in some manner – and with little likelihood of its operations being under threat for the foreseeable future, there is no obvious reason why it shouldn’t continue to grow and prosper.

New, enthusiastic members, can only help the organisation in this phase of its current cycle.

Good luck!


Feb 17

What is the purpose of mysticism, and who can become a mystic? That is my concern in today’s diary entry.

Whether a person is born in a barn or mansion says nothing about their mystical development or impulses. These latter qualities will depend on whatever the soul has carried across from previous incarnations.

Take me. I used to use myself as the perfect example of someone who appears to possess no special gifts or insights – certainly doesn’t dress in a celestially-emblazoned cape or reside in the outer Himalayas – and yet is someone who has attained the ultimate goal of the mystical life. This, after around five years of concentrated study during his twenties.

Unfortunately, too many people took me at my word and decided, yes, certainly you can’t have had the ultimate mystical experience, you are far too normal (and flawed?) for that to have happened.

As a matter of fact, people with mystical aspirations of their own might even be quite affronted by any such suggestion concerning the avowed development of the person before them.

This lack of insight and modesty on their part is in fact one of the reasons why they had not yet attained their goal.

Modesty is an essential component in achieving full enlightenment; as is patience.

Recently, Malcom Gladwell’s ’10,000 hour rule’ concerning mastery in any particular field of expression has come under attack concerning its veracity; and yet the general rule still holds: you have to demonstrate massive commitment and prolonged concentration in order to achieve success in any chosen activity.

If anyone knew of what my first and last conscious earthly incarnations consisted, they might not be so surprised by my mystical assertions.

For a start, regarding faith, I knew from early on that such an experience was possible – but only in faith, to begin with. To fully realise the intended goal required a huge ‘leap of faith’ on certain occasions.

Now, anyone I know that has sneered at my disclosure (and I haven’t gone round telling everybody, until today..!) has never given up all they own in order to pursue the ultimate mystical quest. Which is also a requirement for full achievement.

So what is the goal of the mystic – what is mysticism’s true purpose?

To answer this, I have borrowed the words of another and reproduced their bullet points in an article published recently in a mystical organisation’s exoterically available magazine, wherein the author compares their own teachings with those of Neo-Platonism. In all of this, I concur:

  • All of Creation is permeated by a Universal Soul.
  • The ultimate goal of life is to achieve mystical union with the Divine (the One).
  • Knowing oneself is essential to achieving this goal.
  • This can be accomplished without an intermediary person.
  • Mystical contemplation is a means to achieve union with the Divine.
  • Contemplating the harmony and transcendental nature of the Beautiful and the Good elevates us in consciousness.
  • After completing its spiritual evolution, the soul of each human being reintegrates with the Universal Soul in all purity and lives in the Divine Immanence in full consciousness.

The writer then lists some individuals whose lives and teachings appear to bear this all out (amongst them are some I listed in an earlier Diary post as providing me with guidance as a tremulous neophyte): “Plotinus, Porphyry, Iamblichus, Proclus, Augustine of Hippo (Saint Augustine), Hypatia, Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite, Avicenna, Paracelsus, Marsilio Ficino, Pico della Mirandola, Raphael, Henry More, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Thomas Taylor, and Ralph Waldo Emerson have all been associated with Neoplatonism or Neoplatonic thought.”

Given the kudos attached to the persons on this list, you can maybe understand why others might choose to guffaw when they are informed of my own mystical achievement and enlightenment experience. Then again, maybe these people haven’t understood the principles of mysticism – or read my novels, which contain rather more than just stories – as has been alluded to over the past couple of days when discussing esoteric wisdom.


Feb 16

You start with innocent faith, and end with full-on knowledge – how does that happen?

You are your own alembic. By looking inside the vessel, by testing its contents, mixing new components, adding pressure and heat, cooling down, inspecting the outcome, eventually you will distil whatever is left and that is it – the pure gold of knowing.

There is only one wisdom.

Francis Bacon (1561-1626) first came up with the idea of empirical method, whereby you test by experiments the truth of your understanding. This leads to a particular type of knowledge, one that is quite objective and able to be analysed by others. Tests may be repeated and results compared. Truth ought to be the outcome. Certainly that is the desire. (David Hume, of course, proved that nothing could be known with certainty – not even that the sun will rise tomorrow [and, well, it doesn’t actually ‘rise’ anyway, but no matter] – and more recently dear old Karl Popper refined the scientific method by saying that all meaningful propositions must be refutable; but leaving all that aside… What empiricism did do was lead to modern science and the laws of Boyle and Kelvin and Newton and Einstein et al, to engineering and modern manufacturing procedures: the modern world, in other words.

No only this. Bacon’s method is possibly best applied to the individual and their own testing out of their own knowledge. Empiricism then becomes the best method of becoming quite certain of one’s own understanding of one’s own self.

This may seem to be an odd form of esoteric investigation and yet it invariably leads to correct results.

This is essentially a description of ‘mysticism’. I am surprised that no one else has pointed this out before. Bacon, of course, was an Imperator of the Rosicrucians.

So, this is what mysticism is about: testing one’s knowledge until faith is cast aside and certainty in the results is discovered.

There is one more very important aspect concerning mysticism, and this will be dealt with in tomorrow’s Diary posting.

Today has started out gloomy but that won’t deter me from going for a walk through the woods and getting as much fresh air and exercise as possible. Day by day, I am feeling stronger, my appetite has returned, and I can only hope that these are sure signs of recovery from a period of extended illness.


Feb 15

It may take years of pondering before one takes the plunge and actually engages in an active manner with esoteric thought. There appears to be a certain fear factor involved. With conventional thought structures there is pretty much no pussy-footing about wrong and right. People tend to simply go along with the dominant social structures. Esoteric thought requires something quite different from the individual.

In particular, in esoteric thought, the individual draws from a wholly different information stream in order to understand the universe for themselves. The esotericist does not simply defer to whatever the current trend is towards certain subjects. Right and wrong become an internalised assessment based on a great amount of cogitation and relying on a whole set of integrated factors. The esotericist acquires a particular set of skills which allow them to make their own judgements concerning values in the world.

Generally speaking, the world does not like esotericists and should you find yourself attempting to discover more about the universe through the power of internal knowledge do not be surprised if even those who claim to love you make attempts at distracting you from the path.

rosicrucian copyI’ll be honest, as I was being drawn along the mystic way there were times I thought I might be going crazy because most, if not all, common or garden references were denied me. In my own case, I utilised teachings which had been made available through the ages, going right back to the Vedas and I Ching, through Taoism, Buddhism and Pre-Socratic musing, and up through the neo-Platonists to the Sufi and Christian mystics of the past five hundred years.

Soren Kierkegaard 1813-55

Kirkegaard – the Danish existentialist philosopher – was great for trying to get a handle on the meaning of faith, and especially his concept concerning the ‘leap of faith’. Because, when you start out, if you have no real grounding in esoteric thought and mystical reasoning, most of your actions are based simply on inner certainty and also outward faith in your ability to puzzle things out. Neither of which are easily explained to the outside world, so that you may quite quickly become an object of ridicule; no easy thing for a neophyte, or anyone else, to bear.

In the next post I’ll try to get across how faith in yourself (and definitely not on externalities) produces inner strength and enables the individual to grow stronger and develop certainties in their own conception of the world.

Right now, it’s tipping with rain – and I’m still hoping to complete the Duolingo Russian course before flying out next week and in preparation for an extended trip being planned for next year.

In fact, the word sobiratsya and its various shades of meaning concerning ‘intentions and planning’ is the focus of my immediate studying.

Do svidania!


NB this post is dedicated to my beautiful wife – and to my departed sister, who was an epileptic, the patron saint of epileptics and epilepsy being St Valentine, whose name day was celebrated by millions yesterday.


Feb 14

Today, for me at least, the organ of focus was not the heart (that was given away many years ago anyhow) but the liver, with an MRI scan carried out early this morning. As things stand, I should find out the results in early April when a meeting with the consultant is due at the local hospital (unless he decides to bring things forward). I can’t remember feeling better than I do now and only hope that the worst has passed.

Continuing from what was written in the Diary yesterday, I want to extend an invitation especially to all those who are interested in the esoteric domain of humankind. I cannot offer any personalised course, since I am not a teacher in this field, but I can make it clear to anyone interested just what procedure they ought to follow if they wish to become acquainted with the inner circle. I am able to do this through personal experience. The next few diary entries will be concentrated on these points.

As a matter of fact, these entries will come from the very locus where my own main initiations took place, which eventually led to an intimate comprehension of the Oneness of Creation. The greatest and most profound spiritual teacher yet known to humanity visited this very spot, in full consciousness. Although it isn’t guaranteed, it may be that some of the power that was concentrated here on that day may be generated outward to all the readers of this and the following pieces. (Naturally, if you are coming to this post latterly, you will have to trace the information contained here from back to front, as it were. Those of you who have been attracted in the first instance are especially privileged.)

The first thing you will notice is that no money or any other form of commerce will take place during this exchange. Whatever is given, is a gift to you.

Nobody can provide another with full-on mystical/cosmic enlightenment, the seeker must do the work for themselves, but there is guidance available and the following texts are simply a part of that process.

I am not even going to suggest exercises for the postulant to follow, since these are quite commonly understood and will be brought to bear should the pathway be prised open.

All that I am really going to do is offer encouragement and some pointers, all based – as I say – on personally held, wholly successful experience.

The first thing to say is that esoteric knowledge does exist and is transmitted and understood in a different manner to conventional learning. It often comes by way of inner promptings and unexpected yet meaningful events, often considered to be coincidence by non-participants. Once the process is begun it leads the postulant to discover knowledge in all manner of ways, generally through books, mystical organisations, meetings with others or nature. To secure and digest the inner knowledge it becomes necessary occasionally to withdraw from all conventional company. Just as it is becoming increasingly well understood that the public is sometimes gulled into believing all kinds of false information to the supposed benefit of political and commercial desires of influential players, so does the human being generally have to remove themselves from the influence of conventionally-based exoteric involvement in order to comprehend the incoming information they seek for their own internal satisfaction.

Meditation and other solitary moments are absolutely essential if the participant is to make headway.

The next post will build on these assertions.

Happy Valentine’s Day!