38 – 48

you put your left leg in
your left leg out
in, out, in, out – you shake it all about
hokey cokey
So much of life is a complete waste of time
And so in 1997 Blair’s New Labour project procured results in the UK elections.
Ah, man, we were so enamoured and positive about the future, both re the UK, the world, and our little family.
All those horrible noises and threats coming from Thatcher’s and Reagan’s governments were being replaced by the softer, palliative sounds emanating from the mouths of Clinton and his aides and the new Labour rhetoric.
Which was all it was, in the end.
Rhetoric, with lies about what was happening in the Gulf states, and Iraq in particular, led to yet another bombing campaign…

I was doing a Russian degree course at the nearby university, driving in every morning with my daughter, leaving her at the crèche, and then driving home at the end of the day – and pretty much hating the whole process. On the course, no one taught me a word of Russian I had not already taught myself – least of all the native Russian speaker hired to do so, tutors were drunk or incapable, and, really, the whole experience was execrable. A couple of new members to the faculty were actually helpful. While on a language course at a private school in the twinned Russian town, I decided to shorten the course by a year and so graduated at the time of the second millennia.

I went to a small party with people about twenty years younger than me and after plenty of drink and dope had been slooshing and smoogling about two lads invited me into the kitchen where the oval vulva and rosy anus of an American diplomat’s eighteen year old daughter they had up-ended over a chair were parted very invitingly between a pair of very large pale buttocks. My groin never even stirred. Her lop-sided grin made me feel a little bit queasy. “Go on,” they said. “She wants it. You can have her. We have already.” “Yeah, exactly,” I said and left the room feeling that at last age had caught up with me, or at least made a difference in my thinking, and that probably it was all down to having young children and a beautiful, trusting wife.
So what now?

DOSTOEVSKY’S PLACE

What now resulted in getting work at a seaside language school twenty miles and two hours away and driving up every morning at seven am listening the unfolding news that the UK was going to war with Iraq on the pretext that the Gulf state had Weapons of Mass Destruction which could be put to use in 45 minutes minutes with devastating consequences to all our lives. Such outrageous bullshit had not been heard on the airwaves for some little while and the lies of a government which I had voted in were pitiable and an embarrassment. Not to mention being an outrage.
All the propaganda and lies led to millions of deaths and contributed fully to the position we are in now relative to so-called terrorism.

At around this time thoughts about my sister’s drowning (as related in the 0-18 blog) re-emerged and I tried to get details from the only person who was actually with her at the moment it happened i.e. my remaining sister. For years she had avoided talking about it  (or anything else) with me and now she replied to an email sent her from 3000 miles distance with incomprehensible language. This led to a request for the Coroner’s Report from the time and this, too, proved inconclusive, with the coroner – having the same name as my hometown ha ha – not providing an actual decision about who was responsible for my sister’s death.
What the report did provide, at least, was a temporally and geographically accurate account of the events leading up to and surrounding the drowning. Plus a medical assessment of the drowning, which did not make for entirely pleasant reading. So I knew what she had eaten for breakfast that morning, how her pericardial cavities were filled with water, and how a sports club instructor had watched a little girl drowning and told his canoeing pupil that there was nothing to worry about, and also other eye-witness accounts, and what treatment the medics gave her, and her time of death…but, on an emotional level, it didn’t really do very much at all.
Hah! What it did reveal was the woman with whom I could recall being placed under an umbrella while my parents disappeared and an ambulance appeared on the beach, was actually my aunt.
I hadn’t known that! Incredible.
Actually, nobody had ever included me in any retelling of the events at all. The most traumatic experience of my life hadn’t happened, according to those around me.
This is one of the main reasons I sought truth on a personal level and, in fact, the search led me to the discovery of eternal truth. And now I get why the event occurred as far as I am concerned.
Also, since you have to understand that I am now in full knowledge of matters regarding karma and reincarnation, I am fully satisfied with regard to the outcome of my sister’s transition.
My remaining sister was diagnosed with cancer during the period covered by this blog, and following her refusal to accept orthodox treatment and self-treat herself instead, died within a few years of the discovery.
So now I am sisterless.
Ho hum.
hokey cokey
That’s what it’s all about
You might think

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